The 'Talk'
by Watch Hound
Summary: Numbuh Four thinks he’s sexually educated and Numbuh Three wants to know where babies come from. Now what could possibly go wrong? Minor 3/4.


The 'Talk'

First Codename: Kids Next Door fiction. Be easy on this gentle soul.

Summary: Numbuh Four thinks he's sexually educated and Numbuh Three wants to know where babies come from. Now what could possibly go wrong? Minor ¾.

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't bitch.

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Operation T.I.T.A.N.I.C

T : Television

I : Includes

T : Tale

A : About

N : Nature

I : Insert

C : Conversation

Numbuh Four was downright displeased about the weekly movie evening with his parents. Unfortunately for him his mother decided to pick the film and thus resulted in the, at least in his view, boring story of a giant passenger ship and the two lovers on board. Rose and Jack were momentarily stepping into an old-fashioned car. Suddenly, the back of the non-moving vehicle was all steamed up and he saw a hand with spread fingers touching the window.

"Mum, what are they doin'?" His emerald eyes observed how a tinge of pink touched his mother's cheeks and he soon heard his father coughing awkwardly.

"Oh dear, oh dear.. Well, I suppose it's time, you're ten after all. Darling, please put Joey in his cradle." Her fingers pressed the pause button and the image of the hand was glued onto the screen.

"No, dear. This is a man's talk. You put Joey in his bed. Listen up, sport." His mother jolted up from the creamy-colored leather couch, grabbed the infant from his box with toys and brought him out of the living room.

"Alright.. Uhm.. So, I'm going to tell you where babies come from." His father scratched the back of his head with a mingled expression on his face.

"Ah already know where babies come frum, dad." The blonde Aussie smiled at his dad and fidgeted with the fabric of his orange hooded sweater.

"You.. You do?" He pulled the collar of his button up shirt, relieved he didn't have to warn his son about the dangers of the menstrual cycle.

"'Course, from the stork, right?" His grin covered nearly half of his face, but so did the dismay of his father.

"Now Ah thought they gave the kids better education these days." His father pushed the square on the remote control and the television screen turned black.

"School's stoopid, dad." Crossing his arms in front of his chest, Numbuh Four glanced at the rug with the eastern patterns of red, orange and a faded yellow.

"Now don't say that, son." He scraped his throat, realizing they were straying from the original topic.

"Well, babies come from a mother's womb." His eyes narrowed when he noticed his son turned around and looked at him with something close to interest.

"How do they get into tah' womb, dad?" His Australian accent was laced thick upon his words.

"Uhm.. It all starts when you're.. Ah mean.. Oh dear. When a man and a woman are in love with each other very much." Raising an eyebrow, Wallabee started to complain about mushy love stuff and his father acknowledged the decreasing of interest.

"Listen, sport. When a woman and a man come together and they're not wearing any clothes.. Ah mean.." His father was distressed and tugged the collar of his shirt again, swallowing a lump in his throat.

"Dad, just cut to tah chase." Wally actually found the dismay of his parent amusing but he was of course very curious about the subject babies.

"Alright, when people have unprotected sex…"

Finally the conversation started to become more clarifying for the young KND executive. He 'ah-ed' and 'oh-ed' and of course sprouted out a few words such as; "Eww", "Gross" and "Cruddy girls". The wonderful subject of reproduction turned out to be more disgusting and fascinating than little Wallabee ever could imagine and he sort of regretted ever watching that 'stoopid lovey-dovey movie' in the first place.

The whole display of the evening did result in one little bright point. Numbuh Four could gloat and boast about the fact he knew where babies _really_ came from and once again prove the tutoring of his teachers a few years ago wrong. He was still blissfully unaware that sexual education would be brought up later. Perhaps that was for the better.

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Where do babies come from?

"Numbuh Four, where do babies come from?" The innocent voice of his –most cherished- teammate flustered his cheeks.

This morning, he had literally stormed into the KND base of Sector V and declared proudly that he knew the true location of babies. Numbuh Two, Three and Five were located onto the couch, in front of the TV, each minding their own business. They all looked up to see the grinning blonde in the orange sweater, jeans and white sneakers with a triumphant look plastered on his face.

Numbuh Two, also known as the technical genius along the base, jumped up from the battered sofa and smiled mischievously at his comrade. He adjusted his goggles and replied in a matter of fact tone that the stork delivered the infants all around the world. Apparently kindergarten education wasn't that creative anymore with myths and just recycled them in daily tutoring.

"Nu uh, that's so wrong, Numbuh Two." The Aussie retorted and stuffed his hands back into his pockets.

"Is not! My mommy told me that." Contently, the boy with the pilot cap slouched back to the couch.

"Well, mah' dad told me somethin' completely different!" Numbuh Five looked up from her magazine again and rose a thin eyebrow.

"Numbuh Five would like to know what." Smiling at the Afro-American girl with gratitude, Wally scraped his throat.

"Mah dad told me stuff 'bout wombs and cells and somethin' 'bout a.. what's it called.. Uhm.. Ah forgot tah word for a moment." Abigail, or Numbuh Five as she is daily referred to by her friends, smiled at him but didn't press the matter any further.

"Whatevah' you say, Numbuh Four." Hoagie Gilligan, Numbuh Two in the KND database, flipped through the channels again, not even glancing at his friend anymore.

"Won't yah' guys listen to me for a moment?" Numbuh Four whined and only the Japanese girl looked up at him, an orange stuffed toy underneath her armpit.

"Numbuh Four, where do babies come from?" He blushed furiously when her sweet innocent voice sipped into his eardrum.

"Well.. Mah dad told me.. That um.." Her violet eyes looked at him and she threw a few locks of raven hair over her shoulder.

"Yes?" She stretched out the word and giggled when he looked down, a futile attempt to hide his blush.

This of course perked the interest of the two other executives and now the whole room was staring at his discomfort. Numbuh Five couldn't hide the coy smirk on her lips and Numbuh Two laughed mirthfully, while pointing at his comrade.

"When a.. When a girl and a boy.. When they.." The blonde suddenly grabbed her by the hand and dragged her outside of the living room, not wanting to let the other KND officers hear his explanation.

"Numbuh Four, Numbuh Four, where are we going?" Kuki, or Numbuh Three, ran after him, the zoom of her sweater billowing behind her.

Suddenly realizing he was holding her hand, Wally let go and rubbed the back of his head nervously. The Asian girl smiled widely at his frantic actions and tightened her grip on her Rainbow Monkey.

"Now the others won't hear yuh' 'xplanation." The Australian blonde nodded shyly and decided to fight the spell she put over him.

"They wouldn't believe me anyways. So Ah thought, why bothah'?" Seeing her smile widely again, made him grin and he decided he would make it less awkward than his father did.

"You said somefin' 'bout a boy and a girl?" Nudging him to continue, Kuki tilted her head to the right in a cute manner.

"Yeah, it's somethin' 'bout cruddy love stuff. That's no important." The moment Numbuh Four mentioned the magical word 'love', her whole face lighted up and she immediately pushed him forwards with that topic.

"Com'on, Three. Ah don't wanna talk 'bout some stoopid love stuff." His emerald eyes glared lightly at the girl with the stuffed toy.

"Yeah, ya'do! It's just like in that Rainbow Monkey song!" Wallabee immediately frowned at those Rainbow Dorkies and shook his head.

"That's no important by makin' babies. Ya' just need two people in love." Numbuh Four had just said those words or he heard a disapproving voice booming from behind him.

Numbuh Three gasped slightly at the sight of their disgruntled leader and dropped her plush toy in surprise. The orange Monkey just lay there smiling at the fearful blonde. He slowly turned around with a small, yet forced, smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"Numbuh One.. Uhm.. Ah was just.. Just explaining to Numbuh Three where babies come frum…" Scratching the side of his cheek, the bald kid glanced at them from behind his dark shades.

"Numbuh Four, I don't _ever_ want to hear as much as a word about the process of fabricating babies. Is that clear? The whole production is truly…" Nigel Uno paused and scanned through his vocabulary.

"**Icky.**"

"But Numbuh One…" The Japanese girl whined and picked up her doll when he shot her an evil look, but the effect was diminished thanks to his sunglasses.

"No 'buts', Numbuh Three. The way two adults come together is way too icky to describe! With their sharing of bodily fluids and not too mention those nine months of dangerous mood swings of the female gender. Girls are way more dangerous when they are impregnated! Dear Lord, and the way they pop out.. Horrendous!"

His ranting caused Numbuh Three to tremble in fear and even the Aussie was less tough than usual. Their leader was in a state of unstoppable anger and they both took a few steps back.

"So, do I make myself clear? No more discussions about this **icky** business, understood?" Nodding quickly, the duo nearly leaned against each other in comfort.

"You're dismissed." He spun himself on his heel and the boy in the red sweater walked off with a dignified speed.

"Man, Ah wonder how tah fudge his parents explained makin' babies to 'em." Glancing at the retreating figure with his green eyes, the blonde straightened the fabric of his orange hooded sweater.

"Wally.." The raven-headed girl suddenly breathed out his name with an unsteady voice.

"Yeah?" A pink tinge spread over his nose and cheeks.

"Remin' me to nevah-evah get babies!" The blonde smiled suddenly and patted her on the shoulder, his hand briefly touching the polyester of her green sweater.

"Will do, Three.. Will do."

_Now you know where babies come from_

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Who can resist this topic? Honestly! I just hope I captured the characters right.. (Please remember this is my first KND-fic.)

Review, please?


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